This week as I sat with my coffee, I had a revelation.
This is a big word and one might find the revelation that I had small and rather obvious, but sometimes a concept that you already know can hit differently one day and become...a revelation.
It starts with the question I hear asked sometimes which is:
If you didn’t have to worry about money, what would you do with your life?
For years now, whenever I think about this question I know the answer right away: I would travel around and draw stuff.
The imagery around this dream life is generally always the same, which is me walking around some adorable village in the Cotswolds, taking photos of birds, flowers, leaves, and squirrels, thatched cottages and high street shops; and then sitting at a quaint coffee shop (always sitting outside) and sketching the things I’ve seen in pen and ink- and of course finishing them with a cat or two. :)
Occasionally the imagery changes- at times it's me sitting on a beach in Hawaii sketching sea turtles and sometimes it’s me in an RV with my dogs driving around various national parks and other beautiful natural places.
The details sometimes change but the constants are: travel, nature, walking around, seeing new things, a slow and unhurried pace, and creating art.
That’s my dream life.
My family is included of course, but because I generally don’t think of this dream being accessible until my kids are off doing their own thing, they aren’t usually in the first image that my mind generates.
But that is a mistake and where The Revelation comes in:
I didn’t think this dream was accessible until some time in the future.
Budget, time, and logistical constraints are real after all.
Mind you, I didn’t feel any resentment or negativity around the perceived constraints, they were just there. I was content to hold this vision for Future Me.
Until this Thursday morning.
I was sitting with my coffee scrolling on instagram and saw a photo that my cousin had posted. It was a tintype style photo of her and her partner. It was a really fun image and she had tagged an account crediting the artist and when I clicked on that account I discovered it was a tintype!
From her account and website, I discovered that this artist travels around in her van from place to place creating tintypes of people at popups and events. The photos are really fun and as I scrolled through her online life, I felt feelings.
Oh no, I thought. Feelings.
I long ago realized that when I feel resentment or bitterness creep in when I’m looking at someone else’s life, it always points to me and something that’s incongruent in my own life.
It’s never about the other person.
Especially when that person is also an artist.
I am usually very supportive of other artists and one of my favorite things about Instagram is that it allows me to support other artists on their artistic journey. Most of the time I hold a ‘we are all in this together’ mentality.
It is rough out there on social media for artists - not only do we have to create the art, we also have to create engaging content…which the algorithm may or may not even show to anyone.
It’s a slog.
So since I know that normally I love supporting other artists and feel only love for them and the work they are doing; when I feel negatively, I know to look back at myself for the reason and it’s almost always that they are doing something I wish I could do too.
It’s the “must be nice” syndrome.
I have learned over the years to never say “must be nice” when I see someone doing something that I want to do but feel like I can’t. It’s an incredibly disempowering phrase!
You’re essentially telling yourself and your subconscious that it could never be you doing whatever it is, so why even try.
The energy is all wrong.
Sure, you may not be able to do or have whatever it is in exactly that format on exactly that day. Like I said, budget, time, and logistical constraints are real. But there are things you can do.
Over the years I have learned to look at whatever it is that makes me feel that “must be nice” feeling and pick out what about the person’s situation is that feeling directed towards.
What is triggering the feeling of resentment or jealousy?
Once identified, I see if there is a little piece of that I could create for myself within my current situation. Anything beyond what I can realistically do today, I see if I can create a goal and start to take small steps towards that goal.
So when I felt those feelings about the tintype artist, I knew right away that there was something there pointing to my life and situation; and since I don’t want to be a photographer or tintype artist (so cool though), it must be something else.
The traveling.
The traveling around in a van to different places, seeing different things, creating the art that is one's passion. In other words- my dream life.
And all the sudden, in a way that felt like it should have been obvious all along, it hit me:
I don’t need to go anywhere to start living my dream life.
Like I mentioned, my usual ‘dream life’ imagery is traveling in another country, taking photos, walking around, living slowly, sketching the things I find. (Mind you, I’m not going to get rid of that imagery, because it’s beautiful and a fantastic thing to aspire to. I really want to get to the cotswolds someday.)
But in the meantime, what can I do to create some of that right here, right now?
First my brain went to- ‘well I could get an RV and the family and I could travel around the US’. Ok, but that’s still not a Today Solution- I don’t have an RV and it would still be a ‘someday’ proposition.
But what do I have?
A car.
I can travel around by car! I also have a tent if I want to keep the budget down. But my schedule is not as free as it might be once the kids are grown. So what to do?
And then it hit me.
It doesn’t have to be a trip.
What are the key components of my dream life?
What about that is inaccessible to me right now? Nothing! I can do all of it. In whatever amount of time I happen to have. I could start as small as just my block in my own neighborhood!
I live next to a historic high school, which has the type of cool architectural elements that I would take photos of to sketch if I was visiting elsewhere. There are the types of really cool Victorian and Craftsman homes on my block that I would take photos of to sketch if I were wandering around another place.
There are wildflowers and birds and squirrels and rabbits and even coyotes in my neighborhood. And crows. Lots of crows. All of which would be top of my list to photograph and sketch if I were wandering around another place.
So most of the things I would be experiencing by traveling to another place…there is some form of those things right here. Or close by. Or if I have more time- within day trip distance.
My dream life can be now.
So, maybe all of that should have been obvious, but it just hit differently this time. In the kind of way that has forever changed my thinking.
What dreams do you have?
If money wasn’t an issue, what would you want your life to look like? Can you break down that dream life into the elements that make it most delicious for you?
What is it about that dream life that makes it so appealing? Can you incorporate a few of those elements into your current reality?
I have found that even if the steps are super small - that it has the capacity to change everything. If I’m taking tiny actions to live the life I thought was ‘someday’ it creates a sense of empowerment and as a result I very rarely feel that ‘must be nice’ feeling when I look at another person's life.
Because I’m living my own ‘must be nice’! Even if I’m only doing so in the smallest way, it seems to ripple out and affect everything positively.
Life is so painfully short. I don’t want to wait for someday to experience the elements of existence on this beautiful planet that I dream of experiencing. I hope you don’t either!
Today’s the day!
What is your dream life? I’d love to know. Share in the comments if you feel comfortable.
Wishing you a magical day full of all the things that bring you the most joy.
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I am participating in Birdtober! There are a few Birdtober art challenges happening this month- I am participating in the one hosted by Kayla Fisk Birds. I’m really happy I stumbled on this bird art challenge. I love all the other October challenges, but it always comes back to birds for me. :) Especially since I have another show scheduled at Seward Park Audubon in January!
